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i have let the darkness convince me before. .
i’ve let the darkness convince me that i’m unworthy of a mate because im doomed to being second best, that my body is too far gone in sickness that there’s no use in caring for it.
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that im ugly & stupid for the things i do & fail to do. that i’ll fail at all i do so why try... that i’m forgettable.
that im unwelcome, awkward, & insignificant. .
& i wish i could tell you i turned all the lights on in my brain. i wish i could tell you i didn’t give in. i wish i could tell you i cried out to God.
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the second i try to take matters into my hands, i put a band aid on. i wallow. i forget who my Maker is.
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Lord, i lay my struggles... my pain... my uncertainty... my insecurity... AT YOUR FEET.
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let your will be done, let your truth reign.
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